Hiring a Postpartum Doula - Helping a New Mom When She Needs it Most

Ask me 2 years ago if hiring a postpartum Doula was on my list of things to do, my response would have been.

“Pardon me, a what”?

I’m starting to believe if you yell at the universe loud enough, it will answer. My answer came in the form of a cute Brunette named Amy who I hired to serve in my restaurant around the same time I got pregnant. She was a "jack of all trades" a Doula being one of them and I can't help but think she was brought into our life so I could discover exactly what I needed after my baby was born.

For the few people out there unfamiliar with the word Doula like I was. They are a trained companion who is not a healthcare professional and who supports another individual through a significant health-related experience. If you hire them for postpartum, they come to your home during the day or overnight to support you while you navigate motherhood. They are not a nanny or a maid, they are literally there to “hold the mother” and the baby when asked. Think of them as a professional postpartum guide and support system bursting with incredible tips, tricks and knowledge. Someone who offers advice only when asked, and reassures that you are doing an awesome job when you start to doubt yourself.

Having lost my mother to brain cancer 6 years to the date that I got pregnant, crazy I know. I couldn’t stop obsessing about life after baby and the lack of support system I had. My relationship with my mother in law in wonderful, but nothing compares to having your own mom when you had a wonderful relationship with them. My mom was always that one person that would look at me and knew what I needed and when. I was nervous receiving support from someone who didn’t love me unconditionally enough to not get offended when I tell her to back the %#@! off and give me some space.

So back to my gift from the universe, Amy was kind enough to fill my life with books on pregnancy, labour, postpartum and breastfeeding. She also connected me with April Fermaniuk owner of the Edmonton Area Family Doulas agency just before we parted ways a few short months after she was hired. I tell you, if that’s not the universe I don’t know what is?

I met with April briefly three months before my son was born, and I knew she would be the perfect fit for our family. Her easy going bubbly personality immediately put me at ease. I felt a sense of relief when she left that day knowing I was being proactive and supporting my postpartum mental health.

June 6, 2019 11:30am

I had been home alone with our new baby for 2 hours and was already a mess, the Alberta Health Services nurse came that morning and had notified me that Alessio had jaundice and it needed to be monitored. The poor baby wasn’t waking up to breastfeed let alone bottle feed, she was also certain he was tongue tied causing our difficulty breastfeeding and why my nipples were cracked and bleeding, talk about information overload! The incision from my 3rd degree tear was swollen and would catch on my oversized depends, and my vagina felt heavy like it was going to fall out every time I took a step. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t prepared for this!? Me! A planner! The person who researches everything. Screw labour, why doesn’t anyone talk about this part?

"Dear Diary, don’t use 'Dr. Google' to get postpartum advice".

My husband was supposed to be home the week after our son’s arrival but was called in to work due to unforeseen circumstances, I rushed to my phone and messaged April "I need you 911". The beautiful part about a Doula, they put your due date in their calendar and keep their days and nights fairly open ready for the “I need you” call or text.

Thank God for my Doula 4:00pm

She arrived, I was sitting on my couch topless with a bottle in one hand and my sleeping baby in the other. I tried to wake him to eat from both my breast and bottle and neither attempt worked. I was sobbing when the door opened, and she quickly ran over and kneeled on the floor in front of me. She placed both her hands on my knees and said.

“Let’s talk about the 4th trimester, and tell me what the nurse said”

It was that moment I knew I had made the right choice, she guided me through the next 10 days of getting my sons bilirubin levels back to where they needed to be, which I’ll discuss in detail another day. She made sure I ate, showered, pumped, and all the stuff in between. She didn’t judge me when I was unsure how to do things and could calm my crying baby when I couldn’t. To this day I call her the Baby Whisperer. Although knowing what I know now, it was her relaxed balanced aura that calmed his little soul. Mine was clearly full of wild hormones and bubbling anxiety, not the best for calming someone that relied on others to regulate their emotions.

If the thought has crossed your mind even once whether or not you should hire a postpartum Doula? I’m here to tell you “Do It”!

I highly encourage setting up an entire support system if you can but a postpartum Doula is another level! They are experts on all thing’s baby and support a multitude of postpartum journeys, giving them insight and experience in a multitude of situations that occur during the first month’s home with your precious baby. It also means having someone in your corner that isn’t emotionally connected to you and can handle seeing you ugly cry without trying to fix you.

In the weeks to come, you’re going to be hearing a lot about my postpartum Doula. April was by my side through many times of uncertainty and if she wasn't by my side that first day home, I’m not sure what would’ve happened? I didn’t escape postpartum anxiety, but I know for a fact I escaped a lot of the darkness my journey was bringing in the weeks ahead. I’m horrible at asking for help, but she knew what I needed and when.

Hiring a Doula: If you are considering hiring someone, treat your first appointment like a blind date. If you two vibe from the beginning and you feel at ease wanting a second date, then they're probably a good fit. If that doesn’t happen, it’s ok to keep looking. Motherhood is a vulnerable journey and you need to be selective with who you take with you.